Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A Change of Perspective

As you may know from reading my last couple of blog post,
I have been struggling with fear and anxiety. 
I usually don't like people to know that I am struggling, 
but since I were my emotions on my sleeves,
 it is not hard to notice. 
 Over the last couple of days I have felt pretty hopeless, 
so I finally opened up to my friend. 
(of course she had already figured it out)
I told her that one reason I hold things in
 and try to look like I have it all together
 is because of my past. 
I know that my family has worried about me enough for 2 lifetimes. 
I don't want them to ever have to worry that I may go back to using drugs. 
(My family has never said anything to make me think this)
So my friend asked me "Do you ever think about using?"
With just that question everything got put into perspective. 
The answer to that question is NO. 
Absolutely and honestly NO!!!
God freed me from my addiction. 
I walked away and will not look back. 
The only thing I think of is pain and regret. 
So where was the perspective change? 
I am so glad you asked. 
God saved me from a life of misery. 
I went from wanting to die to being excited about living. 
He did for me what I could never do for myself. 
If He can get me through any thing. 
He did not leave me through my hardest times 
and He has not left me now. 
I will make it through what ever it is that I am struggling with now
and I will be stronger because of it. 

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