Four Years of Freedom

Four years ago today my world was changed in the best way possible. 

I walked away from a 5 year crippling drug addiction that was stealing my life.

But this was no ordinary event.

It was by God's grace I was saved.

I had tried to get sober before with no success, 

but on April 17, 2008 God broke the chains.

I have never had the desire to get high again. 

This still amazes me to this day.

It is unheard of for people in recovery to not have a thought of using.

But God never does play by the rules.

I struggle with other things, 

but using is not one of them. 

I am amazed every day at the things that have happened in my life over the past 4 years. 

I have finished school, started a career, lived in 1 place alone for 2 years,

work with youth, made great friends, 

and had the opportunity to share my story with others. 

I remember the dark and hopeless days of using very well.

I never could have imagined feeling the way I do today.

I feel free, happy, carefree, and hopeful.

I cannot imagine how life could be any better.

I have enough to be grateful for the rest of my life.

I know that there are a lot of people out there that are broken and bonded to many things.

I pray that my life can make a difference in the lives of others by sharing my struggles.

If you are struggling or know someone who is let me know. 

I am free to talk or pray for anyone at any time. 

If you are reading this now you have been prayed for. 

Should I Wait or Should I Go?

In life there are people that are planners,

 they have an itinerary with everything scheduled to the minute.

Then there are people that are completely spontaneous,

 they don't know what they are doing till they are doing it. 

Me...it depends on the day, 

but for the most part I would say I am somewhere in the middle. 

Some things I can do on a whim. Others need time and careful planning. 

When it comes to my life, it never fails, I would die to see the plan. 

I wish I knew how many times I prayed "God show me your way" or some form of that?

I would bet it is A LOT!!! 

I always ask for God's direction (which is a good thing),

 but then I sit around waiting for him to send me the play by play. 

News flash girly!!!!!

God doesn't work that way!!!!!

If he did there would be no need for faith. 

What is relationship with God with no faith?

I have recently been in a "wait" phase. 

I am waiting on God to show me what His plan is so I can start doing it. 

Last week God asked me "What are you waiting for?"

Wow!!!! Huh???

What I wanted to say was, "YOU!"

I spent the week rolling that question around in my brain. 

Tonight I heard Him say"GO. Do not WAIT!!!"

*Matthew 28:19 Therefore GO and make disciples of all nations. *

He has called me to live my faith out, take up my cross, and die daily to self. 

I have faith that He has a plan for me, 

and I trust Him so I don't have to see....

I have to GO!!!!

The Fruit

My #1 goal for 2012 is my relationship with God.

I have spent some time thinking about how I could work toward more intimacy with Him. 

I know of course spending time in His word, prayer, with His people, and quiet time with Him are great places to start, but the therapist in my needs measurable goals. 

So I went to His word for guidance. 

Jesus said in Matthew 7:16 that people would be recognized by their fruits. 

I want people to know that I am in love with my Savior. 

I want it to be obvious by the way I live my life. 

I want my fruits to be abundant and unmistakable. 

In Galatians 5:22 & 23 Paul told us that the fruits of the Spirit are:

Love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. 

So the more I spend time with God and walk in His will the more fruits I will have. 

My prayer is that You and everyone I come in contact with will know me by my fruits. 

Peace for an Anxious Soul

Have you ever had the feeling like something was missing?

Like you forgot to do something?

Or something was just not right?

I am having one of those moments. 

I hate it. 

I have no idea what I have forgotten. 

I just know that it has me anxiously searching my mind. 

Only one thing can easy my worried soul. 

Psalms 23

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd;
         I shall not want.
 ² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
         He leads me beside the still waters.
 ³ He restores my soul;
         He leads me in the paths of righteousness
         For His name’s sake.
        
 ⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
         I will fear no evil;
         For You are with me;
         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
        
 ⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
         You anoint my head with oil;
         My cup runs over.
 ⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
         All the days of my life;
         And I will dwell^[a] in the house of the LORD
         Forever.

A Dream

I am still feeling the affects of yesterday. 

I never imagined that I would inspire myself.

It is a strange but exhilarating feeling. 

Not many people know this,

 but I have dreamed about being a speaker for a long time. 

I can remember it in my early 20's, mid 20's, and even now in my late 20's. 

I really thought that when this opportunity came (to speak) I would do it and have my fix.

I may have been wrong about that. 

Now I feel even more inspired and driven. 

I am reminded of my dreams,

and that God has dreams for me too.

He places them in my heart. 

I have no idea what God has planned for my future.

I am very excited to see what is in store. 

Beauty From Ashes

As I drove home last night I could see the smoke of some serious fires going on in East Texas and the very western part of Louisiana. A little later on, as I walked around my neighbor hood,the setting sun shining through the smoke and the trees was beautiful. I almost forgot that there were tragic fires burning out of control close by, until the direction of the wind changed and the smell of smoke surrounded me. I continued to walk and marvel in the setting sun and moon coming into view. I couldn't help but think, "God can make beauty out of anything."After all He made man out of dust. (Genesis 2:7)Then I look back over my life, the choices I have made, the road I have taken, and I look to where I am now. Wow have I come along way. My life was ugly and full of sin, but God used the ashes of my former life to create a new life that is pleasing to Him.I am so grateful that in Him all things are new. He can use your ashes too. Surrender them and see what beauty He can make. 
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"2 Corinthians 5:17

Away in a Manger

In my work I hear people say a lot, "No one understands what I am going through." And I have to admit I have even said it--a time or two. So even though I know that the statement holds little weight, I understand what it is like to feel all alone and like there is no where to turn. I find myself at this place at Christmas time, and I find my hope in a manger. 

Matthew 1:18 says, "Now this is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit." I have always thought of the significance on the virgin birth to be to show how powerful and miraculous God is. I read a commentary that showed it in a different light. Mary was impregnated by the Holy Spirit so Jesus was born apart from the sinful nature that is passed on to each of us through Adam. Mary was His mother so He was born completely human. Both God and human at the same time. So He understands human nature and our struggles at the same time that he understands the big picture. 

So my Christmas gift to you is a reminder that when you feel alone remember that God sent a baby, that grew into man, and died on a cross so that we have someone that gets what we are going through. Jesus can and will lead you through it.